


before the end

by buttstrife



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, Puppy Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 06:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12699696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttstrife/pseuds/buttstrife
Summary: Guanlin's puppy love for Jihoon is obvious to everyone except Jihoon himself.





	before the end

**Author's Note:**

> 1hr short fic i wrote after watching wannaone go s02e01 and before i jump back into studying (bc panwink's puppylove is so cute how can i resist u_u)

It’s easy to pretend their relationship doesn’t have an expiry date: when Guanlin sneaks into Jihoon’s bed, he tangles his long limbs between Jihoon’s like the pieces of a puzzle lining up, worming his hands onto the planes of Jihoon’s skin and warming his heart in the familiarity of Jihoon.

“At least you’re in CUBE,” Jihoon reminds him, voice quiet so that the other hyungs don’t overhear them whispering in the few hours of sleep they get between schedules.

“What do you mean, hyung?” Guanlin glances at Jihoon’s sleep-bared face – eyes lingering at Jihoon’s pouted lips. He counts the seconds, wondering if Jihoon is daft for not realising, or simply easing his rejection to Guanlin’s well-known infatuation.

“At least you have somewhere to be after this,” Jihoon clarifies, making a noncommittal noise as he turns over in the bed, back towards Guanlin.

Guanlin thinks up a thousand replies, knows a hundred years of studying Korean won’t find him the words to ease Jihoon’s insecurities, the uncertainties that lie in front of what comes after. What comes after Wanna One, whether Wanna One has changed their destinies permanently – or for only this ever too short period of time. Whether memories will be all they have in the end.

 

 

 

The days are restless, filled with the humid heat of summer, the constant moving to and fro, flying from country to country for their international events. Guanlin wouldn’t trade this for anything – wouldn’t deny that even if he gets a maximum of two hours of sleep a day, even if a camera is always trailing after him, that this is what he wants. This is what success feels like. This is what so many of the trainees back on Produce 101 would’ve killed for.

Guanlin knows he should be thankful, should be breathing in every moment of this opportunity like Jisung or Sungwoon, but how can he when he wraps his arms around Jihoon at the end of a long day and wonders how many more days he can have this for. Bitterness grips tightly onto Guanlin, vise-like and has him asking why Wanna One is only a year-and-a-half project, even if he already knows the answer. Even if the answer is buried within the pages of his contract, branding his skin like an unwanted responsibility.

And somehow he feels guilty. Sometimes, he looks at Jihoon and instead of wanting to coddle him with affection, he feels guilt that even though Jihoon is infinitely better than him at everything, that Jihoon might fade into obscurity if Maroo Entertainment chooses so. That Guanlin is at least going to be milked for all his worth once Wanna One is over. And Guanlin guesses he should be thankful for that -- but somehow he can’t bring himself to be thankful for what he has when there’s the risk that Jihoon might not have the same.

There are so many _what if_ s, so many possibilities that Guanlin finds himself leaning closer to Jihoon without meaning to, stepping closer to him without intending to, catching him in his arms without a second thought about optics.

Always, always, always finding his way back to Jihoon.

 

 

 

“Jihoon is my style,” Guanlin says, confirming what everyone in the building already knows. “I mean, his face is my style,” although that does nothing to appease the rosy blush on Jihoon’s face. And it’s like a scene in a film how everything else becomes a miniscule detail, forgettable and relenting and blurred in the presence of Jihoon. How Jihoon dominates his attention more than anyone else in his life. How Jihoon captivates like no other, and Guanlin supposes he doesn’t mind – minus the inevitable heartbreak sometime in the foreseeable future.

Jihoon has a shy warm smile on his face, bringing the apples of his cheeks out, and Guanlin wonders if anyone can hear his heartbeat speeding up, the drama-esque thudding of an organ that ought not to represent his feelings for Jihoon. His heart feels heavy, as though if he keeps going down this path, it might as well splinter into infinitesimal particles and atoms, doomed to flitter in the space between what he knows he wants and what he _should_ want.

When the camera disappears from his field of vision, Guanlin finds himself sitting beside Jihoon. Places the palm of his hand on Jihoon’s, their fingers intertwining without a second delay, and Guanlin realises, maybe for the nth time since their debut, that he is unbelievably lucky to have Jihoon beside him. Not just because he’s _wink boy_ or the idol who popularised an aegyo within seconds, but because Jihoon is as fastidious with his dancing, his singing, his charms, as he is when he’s with Guanlin.

Because Jihoon doesn’t make him feel like an afterthought, someone who is only there to be pretty or whatnot. Because Jihoon responds to his love-struck affectations with more than just the conniving desire to steal more screen-time. Because Jihoon—

“What are you thinking about, Guanlin?” Jihoon asks, the songful lilt in his voice bringing him comfort, like the panacea to homesickness, like the remedy to the aches in his muscles after a tiring dance practice.

“You,” Guanlin says, watching Jihoon’s reaction as one might with the turning tides of a beach, enthralled no matter how many times he sees the beautiful sight.

Jihoon laughs, offering Guanlin a fond smile, and Guanlin thinks how he would press a kiss to Jihoon’s lips, would offer up his whole heart, would reject all the futures without Jihoon in them, if only Jihoon would ask.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ([twitter](https://twitter.com/buttstrife). comments/kudos/bookmarks are always highly appreciated! thank you♥)


End file.
